Driving Lessons

It has been a big transition for me to learn to drive in the city as opposed to the small town I grew up in, but it's equally trying to ride in a car with my husband when he attempts to drive in my home town. So I have decided to come up with this handy translation of common driving issues between the country and the city.

Being Stuck in Traffic:
City - sitting in traffic for 30 plus minutes for no apparent reason
Country - waiting to make a left hand turn for more than 30 seconds or sitting at a four way stop forever, with everyone waving for some else to go first

Road Hazards:
City - enormous pot holes
Country - driving behind a fully loaded sugar beet truck

Honking the Horn:
City - What the $%#$ are you doing!!, You $%$%# Moron!!!, Get the %$%$@ out of my way!!
Country - If honking at a car - hey how are you, lets stop in the middle of the road and catch up on the kids, work, whatever. If driving by someone's house and you don't have time to stop, just lay on the horn to say "HI"

Driving Directions:
City - take 696 to Telegraph drive north to 13 mile make a Michigan left
Country - drive until you see the Sunshine (of course you have to know that the gas station on the corner hasn't been called the Sunshine for about 20 years, but you should know that), make a right, go a block make a left, drive until you see my Grandma's old house, make a left.

Getting Lost:
City - Call Randy's friend Chris, he's a walking road atlas
Country - Impossible, all the roads run in a grid

Road Hogs:
City - Any large SUV
Country - Tractors

Yellow Light:
City - fly through as fast as you can
Country - we don't have yellow lights, only flashing four way stops